Communication tip for neighbor's barking dog
Your neighbor's barking dog annoys you. You know it must also bother other neighbors yet no one dares to talk with the dog owner, at least not effectively. Why not? You know that talking to the dog owner is the responsible thing to do. You know if you call the police they will ask, "Have you talked to the dog owner?" Again, why haven't you and your neighbors talked to the dog owner? First, you need to be acknowledged for your intuition and wisdom. You intuit that the mere mention of the subject will at best prompt a meaningless apology and a litany of reasons and excuses and, continued abuse. Still, your non-verbalized considerations are serving as a barrier to effective communication, to seeing the truth, and to now being the cause of the barking. Let's look at some of these considerations.
Do not mistake fear with compassion. Avoiding the issue using "Maybe they don't know" is your fear at work, at best it's denial on your part. All dog owners have the thought at one time, "I wonder if my dog barks when I'm not home." Immediately following that thought (in the very next second) their contempt takes over and they consciously choose to disregard your serenity. Supporting disrespect is not compassionate. Do not be fooled by their "nice act." Most all abusers enroll a select few with whom they act nice and polite; this satisfies their mind that because some people like them (even a new spouse) they must be OK. One answer as to why you haven't talked to the dog
owner is that you sense it's hopeless. You know that
talking won't stop the barking. You know the barking
is only a symptom of another enormous problem. You
already know that you don't inspire consideration,
and, that you don't have the leadership-communication
skills to pull off a mutually satisfying
conversation. Therefore, you've decided to handle the problem
by not handling it. Pacifists, those addicted to non-confrontation, live with the thought that they are
better than . . . . This holier-than-thou
thought triggers anger in others; it can in some
instances lead to silent support by "good" people of
the pacifist's demise. You might think that the best you can do is Zen away the noise and send "love bombs" in their direction, however, there are two other things you can do. The first thing you can do:
Clip/copy this article and find a way to get it to the dog owner. Once a dog owner reads this it will anchor the problem in his/her mind so that when he/she hears their dog barking (which by the way they usually don't hear anymore) it will trigger a reaction; it will in fact affect his/her own serenity, whereas before they chose to go unconscious, now they will have to consciously choose to disturb you and the neighbors. The karma of consciously choosing to be abusive has ever-expanding undesirable consequences; it will begin to effect their health even more. At some level they really are loving and would not choose to upset another. This article is a safe way to communicate your considerations. The fact that you will deliver it anonymously communicates clearly that you were afraid to discuss it with them in person. It communicates your disappointment that you don't yet deserve their respect. It also lets them know that you are working on developing your communication skills so as to inspire harmony and tranquility in the neighborhood. It might take a few months for them to act upon it so be patient.
The second thing you can do: Use the opportunity to discover what this is about for you, why would you be creating this? Who in your life would say that you have been, or are being abusive? In what way does the neighbor mirror your own contempt/disrespect for another or others? Can you choose to have the dog bark for as yet some unknown reason in support of enlightenment?
* Few parents or teachers cover the topic of personal space. With TV and radios and barking dogs, personal space is 50% of the distance between you and another. If your sounds intrude into another's space (if they can hear your sounds) then you are being abusive, at best you have been unconscious. To continue abusing another after reading this will have continued undesirable karma. You may copy this article providing you include the author's name. -Kerrith H. (Kerry) King
Last edited 12/11/20
Use the Comment form to post a comment. Comment Box is loading comments...
To ask a question use Gabby's Forum
|