Thinking of Adopting? . . . an orphan's tips about adopting

 

A few considerations about adopting another's child:

 

Perhaps the most important consideration about adopting a child that was given up for adoption by its birth mother are the thousands of communications (yes, thousands of verbal, non-verbal, physical, and psychic experiences) that took place 24/7 during pregnancy. All verbal, non-verbal, psychic, and possible physical abuses that takes place during pregnancy impact and affect a child—for life. Seldom do parents trace their child's behavioral or developmental problems to abuses during pregnancy.

 

The mother's mental state, her diet and drugs, affected the child both mentally and physically. The dozens of negative thought the mother repeated daily to herself. All the music (often loud and not beautiful/inspirational). All the TV news reports and negativity, the wars, famines, murders, all these vibrationally disconcerting experiences play over and over throughout the entire nine months. Of course the child can't comprehend the meaning of the words that filtered though into the womb, but it certainly feels the fear, the negative vibrations, the mother's shudders of disrespect of herself as she gorged on unhealthy foods/drugs or abusive conversations. It's most likely she didn't drink enough clean water to flush the toxins daily, thereby affecting the immune systems of both. The heated arguments and thoughts about keeping/not keeping/aborting were all experienced, including the contempt she felt toward herself, the baby's father and the world in general. It creates a condition of fear, of worry, about "what's out there."  Read, What to do when your baby won't stop crying.

 

The loving attitude of a mother intent on exercising and feeding her child the most healthy food is so different than a mother stuck with unhealthy addictions. A mother consciously or unconsciously intent on giving up her child repeats negative affirmations daily such as, ". . . shouldn't eat . . .  but what the hell." "I'm worthless." "I should have known better . . .." "I knew he was a no good bum." "I knew he wouldn't support me financially." "I should have listened to _ _ _ and aborted." Unhealthy mothers seldom drink enough water and so the toxins don't get flushed out, instead the toxins recycle though the baby's circulatory system and brain. Alcohol and drugs consumed go immediately into the embryo's blood stream in adult concentrations (dosages) that cause unimaginable reactions. Recall the first time you drank too much alcohol, the sickening, dizzy, miserable feeling of not being able to instantly feel better, of having to suffer the vomitings. Now imagine what it must be like for an embryo to be submitted to drugs and alcohol, force-fed unawares; it is in fact abusive, it's traumatic. Some reactions create neural pathways that develop into looping highways of addictions used later to cope with life's problems. Such early programming is virtually impossible to recover from; evidenced by our prison population.

 

Most likely the agency handling the adoption will tell you about the birth mother's drug and alcohol history, possibly even that the mother's parents were alcoholics; however, it's unlikely that the birth-mother revealed, if she even knew, the mental and physical health (the DNA) of her side of her family tree. Possibly she didn't even know the birth-father's family let alone their health history. Arrogance is dismissing the possibility that your adoptee will be mentally and socially impaired for life, that you might have to lock your valuables and hide all matches, that the child may start hitting you or your other children. Couples, during their marriage ceremony, cannot in their wildest imaginations envision the violent verbal communications that will take place between them, or that cheating will eventually take place. Read: Creating a marriage agreement that precludes cheating.

 

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