Clearing Acknowledgement

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angry
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed May 09, 2012 9:11 pm

Clearing Acknowledgement

Postby angry » Mon May 21, 2012 3:23 am

Hi Kerry,
Just wanted to post to you the gains I have received by clearing:
1. Feeling less angry with myself and a bit "lighter"
2. I received two emails for job interviews, opportunities started to appearing...
3. The one friend whom was going through a divorce was able to yell at me and tell me
how my laughing was making her angry for she thought I thought her life was a joke. My response
of "thank you for telling me" prompted her to respond favorably. I think I am becoming a better
listener vs. talker from this experience.

Anywho, you sound like a very kind person and I admire you being transparent on this site.
Thank you for putting this site up, it is extremely helpful! Hope you have a great day!

Best Regards
"Less Angry"

User avatar
Kerry
Posts: 429
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 8:01 pm

Re: Clearing Acknowledgement

Postby Kerry » Mon May 21, 2012 9:17 am

Hi Less Angry,

Thank you for the nice acknowledgments.

It's tricky communicating with a "friend" going through a divorce because it's usually too late to positively support both partners, (the assumption here being that the way you have been communicating, your leadership communication skills didn't/don't inspire harmony. Usually both partners are addicted to blaming and badmouthing and to abusing and being abused—re: ". . . yells at me. . ." I'm guessing that she did not later verbally acknowledged to you that she knows that her abusive yelling at you didn't feel good. And, that you didn't support her in verbally acknowledging her abuse to you. And, that you didn't acknowledge to her, "I get that my laughing was inappropriate and that it didn't feel good." In other words, it appears that you unconsciously enabled her in doing to you what she's been doing to her partner and, what you two were doing to each other.

The test of whether or not you are communicating vs talking is that when communication takes place problems are resolved. Enablers unconsciously support friends in talking about their problem which causes the problem to persist. With a divorce, the mind of a third party is usually programmed to unconsciously take sides, this does a great disservice to the couple. The mind takes sides when it hasn't accepted responsibility for having caused a similar problem.

Life won't work the way you say you want if you continue to interact with those addicted to abusing and being abused, if you continue intending and rewarding abuse.

You might get value from reading: Creating a marriage vow that precludes cheating and Wedding Guest Vow

With aloha,

Kerry

P.S. "I received two emails for job interviews, opportunities started to appearing..." That's great. That's exactly what's supposed to happen; when you empty the mind of incompletes you create space, space to manifest a stated intention. Even cleaning a closet, donating stuff to Goodwill, creates space for newer clothing that represents the present-day you.


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