physical pain & psychological pain

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physical pain & psychological pain

Postby Budd » Thu Aug 31, 2006 1:43 am

I don't know how familiar you are with chronic back pain patients but I want to know how much is psychological and how much is physical. My wife has had two surgeries and has potent pain meds. I am pretty hard on her at times but I feel guilt because I don't understand. Have you had people with chronic pain that eased because of letting go of issues? Nothing seems to be doing much good right now. She doesn't seem to follow through with the therapy that she learned. I'm going to try pool therapy with her; I will go with her three times a week because I know if I don't she will go a couple of times and then stop. I want her to have a better quality of life or am I the problem? We truely love each other and have been together for 26 years. I wouldn't want anyone else in my life.

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Re: physical pain & psychological pain

Postby Kerry » Thu Aug 31, 2006 5:22 am

Hi Budd,n n My responsibility in life is to hang around people committed to aliveness, health, and living.n n When I choose to hang around someone not equally committed to having things work then I get to have the kinds of problems I say I don't want, it reveals that I've been lying. When I tell the truth the problem disappears and my results begin to be consistent with my stated intentions.n n How I communicate, my leadership-communication skills, affect the health and aliveness of all with whom I relate. n n What works is to intend (want) what's so to be so. I find it works to want (intend) exactly what another intends, else I get/become what I resist. The way to discover my what my intentions are/have been is to look at the results my support skills have been producing. If there's a discrepancy between what I say I want and my results then I have been lying, albeit unconsciously. Enlightenment is putting light where there is none.n n It's miserable to hang around someone who doesn't accept me exactly the way I am, even more so, to hang around someone not aligned with where I say I'm going. It's abusive of me to hang around someone and try to change them (unless they request my support in changing/healing them). n n Trying to change your wife (make her better) won't work, however, given that you're addicted to helping her my advice to you is, keep trying; I can be certain you can/will do that. :) What you call love will not heal her. n n Instead of wanting your wife to heal ask her what she wants. Clearly you are not aligned with her intentions which are, from what you say, to have things get worse. "...doesn't seem to follow," indicates that you are unconscious and in denial. A conscious person would have written. "Does not follow her Dr.'s instructions." What she's been wanting, based upon the results her leadership communication skills have been producing is to dump the responsibility of her health in your space and to hook you into feeling guilty and in being worried.n n What's so is your wife is communicating some things to you, among many things, that you don't inspire health. Put another way, you have set up your wife to communicate something to you in support of your own growth and health. It's possible she will have to completely destroy herself in order for you to get it.n n Your's is not a healthy relationship. If you were to die she'd either choose to heal or she wouldn't. We don't know whether she is intent on punishing you, or her parents, or herself for life's perpetrations. Perhaps she's mirroring your own out-integrity. We just don't know yet. n n Given the above you will find the answer to your question, "... am I the problem?" n n Thanks for reaching out.n n With aloha,n n Kerryn n PS. Please do not post a reply. I recommend that you follow though with your email communication to me, to schedule a consult. A consultation will introduce you to a communication model that will support you in manifesting your stated intentions.n n PPS. Keep checking back. From time to time, as I become more conscious, I edit my posts. Things I wrote several years ago sometimes shocks and embarrasses me. :)

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