Daughter defending boyfriend's deception

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Kerry
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Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 8:01 pm

Daughter defending boyfriend's deception

Postby Kerry » Wed Jan 25, 2006 11:03 am

Rec'd following via Feedback/Message Form from Christine. 1/25/06 n n
"My daughter who is the Navy was engaged to high school sweetheart for 2 mons with rings & dress. A sailor friend wrecksher new car& now they live together. She defines him when I bring up subject of being deceived."
Hi Christine, n n Thanks for reaching out. I can't tell from your message what your specific problem is other than you are having a communication problem with your daughter. Just what result do you want to produce?n n You appear to be communicating in such a way as to leave her no choice but to resist you and to continue to upset you with how she is handling her relationship with her boyfriend.n n When children attract partners that disappoint parents it's always a covert communication indicating dozens of childhood incompletes. It's a communication of resentment and disrespect. The way children punish parents for real or alleged n childhood abuses is to fail in life and relationships. In that way they ensure that you never have the satisfaction of having done a good job.n n She is in fact mirroring your own incompletes (childhood deceits and perpetrations for which you have yet to come clean with whomever you have perpetrated). Once you have healed it will create space for her to make choices that work for her and you. An actualized daughter, one who is whole and complete, always brings supportive loving people into the clan. n n I recommend that you do The Clearing Process, (it's free) five clearings, one per day for five days in a row—after which you will see things a bit clearer.n n With aloha,n n Kerryn Tutorial Coach

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