Hello, may I post here?

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rajeshwari

Hello, may I post here?

Postby rajeshwari » Mon Apr 25, 2005 2:07 pm

Can I post here? n I was banned a couple of years ago until I got a note saying I received counseling. I did get counseling during that time. I never gave in the note, however.I would like to use the clearing process as well and do the turial if I am allowed. Please let me know.

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Kerry
Posts: 429
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 8:01 pm

Re: Hello, may I post here?

Postby Kerry » Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:18 pm

Hi rajeshwari,n n Thank you for returning. I get your acknowledgment, that you got value from our conversations.n n I have archived our posts. I can fetch them but it would require a bit of time and extra work. It would help if you would be specific about my last instructions to you. In other words, it's unlike me to just suggest that you get counseling. Usually it's, "Please don't post until you can tell me you have completed X number of hours of therapy or counseling." Or, "Please don't post until you can tell me you have not interacted with x for six months in a row. It's important that you be accurate. An inaccuracy here at this new beginning would result in a communication breakdown. n n For example: If I recommended that you complete (25) 50-minute sessions and you have only completed 24 sessions then your integrity would cause communication breakdowns between us. I say this because your sentence, "I never gave in the note," is confusing. It indicates unconsciousness. It's not just that the phrase doesn't make sense but that you were not conscious enough to catch your own error before posting. Unconsciousness is indicative of an out-integrity somewhere.n n Once I'm clear as to what's so about my last instructions we'll know how to proceed, to include whether or not it's appropriate for you to be using The Clearing Process yet.n n About the Clearing Process: Many people go unconscious when clearing and try to covertly communicate to me to let me know what's been happening in their life—it is an incorrect use of the clearing process. That simple perpetration diminishes the value of clearing.n n With aloha,n n Kerryn n PS. What was your original username?

rajeshwari

Re: Hello, may I post here?

Postby rajeshwari » Thu May 12, 2005 1:07 pm

Originally posted by Kerry:n Hi rajeshwari,n n Thank you for returning. I get your acknowledgment, that you got value from our conversations.n n I have archived our posts. I can fetch them but it would require a bit of time and extra work. It would help if you would be specific about my last instructions to you. In other words, it's unlike me to just suggest that you get counseling. Usually it's, "Please don't post until you can tell me you have completed X number of hours of therapy or counseling." Or, "Please don't post until you can tell me you have not interacted with x for six months in a row. It's important that you be accurate. An inaccuracy here at this new beginning would result in a communication breakdown. n n For example: If I recommended that you complete (25) 50-minute sessions and you have only completed 24 sessions then your integrity would cause communication breakdowns between us. I say this because your sentence, "I never gave in the note," is confusing. It indicates unconsciousness. It's not just that the phrase doesn't make sense but that you were not conscious enough to catch your own error before posting. Unconsciousness is indicative of an out-integrity somewhere.n n Once I'm clear as to what's so about my last instructions we'll know how to proceed, to include whether or not it's appropriate for you to be using The Clearing Process yet.n n About the Clearing Process: Many people go unconscious when clearing and try to covertly communicate to me to let me know what's been happening in their life—it is an incorrect use of the clearing process. That simple perpetration diminishes the value of clearing.n n With aloha,n n Kerryn n PS. What was your original username?

rajeshwari

Re: Hello, may I post here?

Postby rajeshwari » Thu May 12, 2005 1:18 pm

Dear Kerry,n n I agree with you that I held back information, because I wanted you to allow me to post and feared you wouldn't if you had the full story. I found your instructions by looking back on the posts and my user name was "scyn."n n Here they are: n n "Any communications from you will be considered harassment.n n If you wish to continue you must first have your therapist/counselor e-mail us stating that they can verify that you have completed a total of 15 hours of individual therapy/counseling (couple's sessions do not count) and that you are no longer living/relating with your aforementioned significant other."n n I did have the counseling. I did not have the therapist send the emails to you. I did not stop relating with my husband, because I was willing to put up with the verbal abuses we do to each other and we have since gotten couple's counseling as well and I am committed to healthy communication and he and I work on it. The reason I wanted to post here is your model of communication helped me see what was abuse. I want to learn more about communicating better. I will respect your decision if it is that I shouldn't post here as I did not by choice follow your complete instructions. I didn't feel like I could or wanted to. I love my husband and didn't want to stop relating.n n Thank you for the information on this site.n n Rajeshwari

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Kerry
Posts: 429
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 8:01 pm

Re: Hello, may I post here?

Postby Kerry » Thu May 12, 2005 7:49 pm

Hi Rajeshwari:n n Thank you for finding my instructions and for filling me in on what’s so.n n Let’s begin with, “Any communications from you will be considered harassment.” Even as you wrote your reply it didn’t sink in that I meant what I said. Your mind wants to think that because time has passed that that sentence is no longer true. This comes from you hanging around people who don’t mean what they say, from you being able to con most people.n n Next: “If you wish to continue you must first have your therapist/counselor e-mail us stating that they can verify that you have completed a total of 15 hours of individual therapy/counseling (couple's sessions do not count) and that you are no longer living/relating with your aforementioned significant other." Notice that you omitted telling me just how many hours, of the 15 I recommended, you did complete. Again it’s obvious that I have somehow led you to believe that I don’t mean what I say. No matter what you think or believe communication to be, it’s not at all that—this from someone who received both a BA and an MA in speech-communication before I discovered that what’s being taught in universities is not it. Your attempt to get back into communciation without completing the requirements is a covert argument. It is abusive. It doesn't feel good.n n It appears that you did not discuss with your therapist that you were recessed from the tutorial and the "instructions." In other words, you didn’t give him/her all the info required to facilitate your healing. It's called covert sabotage. “Oh by the way, I was kicked off of an online tutorial about abuse because I was being abusive. I was so rude that the coach said that further communications from me would be considered harassment. He said that his experience was that it would be impossible for me to complete my experience of abuse if I continued interacting with my husband. I have decided to ignore his expertise and instead found you whom I know will support me in causing and putting up with the abuse I cause so that you can collect your fee for a few more sessions.” Notice that your counselor didn’t support you in getting to your cause in the abuse, you still resist communicating responsibly, from cause, “I was willing to put up with the verbal abuses we do to each other.” A responsible person would have written, “I was willing to continue abusing him and causing him to abuse me.” n n Even after your counseling you are unaware that your delay in replying to my recent post was in fact abusive. It’s abusive to control another by keeping them waiting. It keeps them incomplete. It mirrors your own addiction to being incomplete. If you were to do the same thing in a face to face interaction it would be considered rude. This is why we have the “reply within 72 hours” agreement in the tutorial. It supports everyone in being complete; it also precludes the undesirable consequences of procrastination.n n Based upon you ignoring and invalidating me I have changed the requirements. To continue with any of our tutorials or educational processes have your therapist email me that you have completed a total of 50 fifty-minute (private - not as a couple) sessions. Once I have received your therapist’s email you must then be able to tell me that you have not interacted with your husband for six months in a row—including no calls/phone messages, cards, presents.n n The sad thing about your decision is that it’s impossible for your husband to heal with you in his life. What you call love keeps him stuck. Keep in mind our tutorials are not about improving or making relationships better, less abusive etc. The Spouse Abuse Tutorial is about completing one’s experience of abuse. It’s only for those committed to transformation. n n I do get that you’ve gotten value from your interactions with me. Thank you. What would expand upon the value is for you to make a donation . A donation is a way for you to share the value, it supports us in continuing to present the tutorials.n n Do show your husband our communications. It’s unethical to talk about another behind their back.n n With aloha,n n Kerry

rajeshwari

Re: Hello, may I post here?

Postby rajeshwari » Fri May 13, 2005 3:14 am

I agree. I was duplicitous. And I don't know how to contain my emotional reactions to my husband and yet will not stop interacting with him at present so I choose not to follow that recommendation now. Therefore,I won't post again and want to make a donation to anchor the insights I've gotten from the information on this website. Please give me the address to send a check, I couldn't find it on the website.n n With Aloha,n Rajeshwari

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Kerry
Posts: 429
Joined: Sat Aug 31, 2002 8:01 pm

Re: Hello, may I post here?

Postby Kerry » Fri May 13, 2005 5:35 am

Hi Rajeshwari:n n Your reply is abusive. Dumping excuses and reasons, as to why you're intent on continuing to interact with a person equally addicted to abuse, in another's space is not only unethical it is abusive to their spirit. It invalidates their worth as a supportive human being. n n Your affirmation to continue relating with a person equally addicted to abuse makes your Eligibility Statement and your Tutorial Agreement lies—for which there are undesirable consequences (more of the same compounded). You will continue to take down with you those who are unconscious enough to interact with you until you formulate the intention to not interact with those addicted to abuse. Notice that you were and continue to be intent on making sure your counselor fails. Had he/she said, during the first session, "You can schedule another appointment when you're willing to complete your relationship with your husband" you would not have dumped your story in his/her space, pretending to want an abuse-free relationship. Instead, you've enrolled your husband and your counselor in your con in being enablers. Your counselor could have also said, "There is only one condition in which I will continue to see you and that is if the both of you agree to see me weekly (individually) for six months in a row and then as a couple for another six months."n n Most importantly, you continue to make sure your parents fail in their desire to have you relate with those who are whole and complete. At some level it grieves them to know how badly they have failed as parents. No parent would consciously advise/support you in dating, let alone marrying, someone addicted to abuse. n n That he daily, hourly, continues to submit you to his various forms of abuse communicates his unethicalness. He also is intent on making sure your parents die failures.n n Re: "donation"n n
to make a donation
click on the word donation—it takes you to the donation page, it contains our postal address.n n Do not post messages/reply or email again until you have completed my requirements.n n With aloha,n n Kerry


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