Creating a context for delivering a
potentially upsetting communication
Scenario:
You've just dented the new family car. Your dad has a "short
fuse" and gets screaming-angry quite easily so you dread having to tell
him. What's needed is to create a context to help your dad be-with and
process the upsetting information with the least amount of anger and
dramatization.
"Context" here is referred to as creating space for communication to
take place; or, creating a basket into which you put content.
For example:
You could create a context by preparing his mind, such as,
"I've got something to tell you. I'm afraid you're going to get angry
and be mad at me and yell and scream. [insert any other
fears/considerations that you can think of]. Is this a good time?—
Depending upon the message you could ask him to sit down which
immediately communicates importance. If he refuses, then you could say,
"Perhaps I should wait until you have some sit-down time? It's quite
important."
Even if you've done this very same trick with him before (creating a
context, a basket into which you deliver a difficult communication) it
doesn't matter. It always works. His (the) mind, to be right, will do
its best to not fulfill your prediction; it does what it usually does
automatically which is to make you wrong, in this case to make sure your
prediction doesn't come true. The worst that can happen is that he will
interrupt your prelude with, "Yah yah. What is it this time? Just tell
me."
In brief, create a basket with your considerations and fears and then
deliver a difficult communication. It works.
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