For example: The seemingly healthier partner of a person who is overweight or addicted to smoking/drugs/alcohol is unconsciously addicted to abuse and is equally unhealthy; their support is in fact negative.

Such a person is called an enabler; they are also addicted to arguing, making others wrong and to trying to change their partner. He/she most likely will adamantly, self-righteously and angrily deny this definition of abuse.

Like an alcoholic in the first stage of recovery an enabler is in denial. They resist seeing themselves as addicted to arguing and to being the enabler, the source of abuse. Such an individual has unconsciously refined his/her "nice" or "loving" act to hide their intentions so that they don't have to work on themselves. Health inspires health.

An enabler focuses on the problems of his/her partner so they don't have to work on their own addictions, including trying to change others.